I while back I was in a real blue mood. I really felt like I was completely off my square. I turned 30 and realized that I had not reached any of the major goals I set for myself when I was 20. I wasn’t a millionaire, didn’t have a platinum album featuring Jay-Z and Nas, wasn’t a partner at a prestigious law firm, I had kids (anyone that knows me from back in the day knows I said I would never have kids, but that’s a different post). To top it all off I was planning to retire my baby, GMTAINC, and just focus on a 9-5. THEN, I tried to connect with a few people to celebrate turning 30 (I usually never celebrate birthdays) and none of them could make it! I felt like I had officially lost my mojo. My swagger was on E. I felt like I was getting too old to follow my dreams and honestly that my dreams were destined to remain just that….dreams.
Nevertheless, I was determined to go out with a bang. Hell, I’m from The GO and even when we fail we do it big! I had one more speaking engagement and that group was going to get the bizness (I know I spelled it wrong). As I got to the event, I saw familiar faces smiling at me, with no clue how I felt inside. I did what I was supposed to do and put on my smile and was professional and personable, etc. But then my boy Tim Swain stepped to the mic and delivered a talk and poem that set the crowd on fire!!! I mean he killed it! Had me in the back of the room with that “I smell boo boo” look on my face. The whole thing was dope, that’s just what Tim does, but the energy it put in the room was unmistakable. It didn’t change my mind about “retiring from speaking” but I did have the energy I needed to really bring my A game. Long story short, I did the damn thing in my presentation, was one of the best-received presenters at the conference and most importantly, the students loved it. There were students crying after the presentation, because they felt they had the tools to be the leader they wanted to be, students that were relieved because they felt my session gave them spot they needed to push the weight off their chest. But, surprisingly, after that presentation, there was a renewed speaker in the room! That day reaffirmed that what I have to say is relevant, practical, and effective. It let me know that I need to keep pushing and never give up, just re-tool. It all started with a decision, a decision to give it my all and leave everything I had in the room. To speak like it was my last time speaking. But it was all fueled by seeing the passion of others!! It’s important to put yourself around passionate, positive people; people that believe in what they do, and that believe in you. You never know when you are going to need a refill but if you are around passionate people that are living what they love its darn near impossible to not have that spill over to you. Passion is contagious! I had a refilled cup, a renewed focus, and un-retired before I really had the chance to throw in the towel. I mention all of this to say this:
When you feel like throwing in the towel, decide to give it one more round and give it your all!
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, JUST RE-TOOL!